Reciprocity

Sometimes I forget just how easy it is to have fun. Maybe someone else would say that sitting in my housemate's room on the Thursday of spring break blogging about the joys of rest in Charleston is lame, but it seems to be working out pretty well for me. Laura is asleep (for the next 3 minutes), Cait is headed out to be social, and I am here. And that's it. Just the 3 of us at the moment, giving Charleston without school a chance. (Well, Laura has been living this way since graduation in December, but it's still pretty great that she's here too.)

The rain has been falling at an approximately constant pace since around 3p.m. when I sat down to do some much needed studying. Studying? Over spring break? Mmm, yes. But that's beside the point. The point IS, we're surrounded by some of the best relaxation. Yeah, it is nice to get the hell out of dodge every once in a while to see what else the world holds: you know, be open-minded and all that. (We did it Tuesday at Congaree National Park, props to great hiking http://www.nps.gov/cosw/index.htm.) But sometimes I can very heavily rely on an adventure, the aesthetics of it all in order to really enjoy myself, and forget what my home for now and the community here hold for me. This week I've been allowed to live a bit more freely, okay, actually much more freely. On any regular Monday, I'd be holed up in my bedroom intently studying French or finance, in what Laura likes to call a "serene" setting. It's pretty much assumed by all in the house that my room is not a place to play. But this past Monday, Laura broke the mold. She walked in (without knocking), started talking (no asking for permission to speak), not about anything in particular (because usually she just needs to ask a question) but actually just wanting to hang out. Then, Laura did the unthinkable. She sauntered right around me and my pile of paper (for card-making, not school), plodded right up to the edge of my tiny twin bed, put one knee up and hiked herself onto my sanctuary. She did it so nonchalantly. I stopped my work so abruptly. I could have cried. You see, it was never understood by me why my room was off limits to the limitless. My bed is not For Myself Only. I don't know why people are so frightened to walk into the front room, maybe I'm intimidating? But when Laura laid down on my bed that night, I knew that she was over this fear. I think I may have even shrieked with glee. Someone was on my bed! Laura was on my bed! She was just loving the plush, watching me at work, listening to my music. She really did break the mold. Because a few minutes later, Katherine came in and did the same thing, only on Emma's bed. Two people were just wanting to be with me in my room; they couldn't fathom the magnitude their efforts had on my heart. I'm a welcoming person. I'm a loving person. I'm a cool person. Kathleen realized this. She came in too. Soon the four of us where laughing, singing, and getting comfortable. And it was so natural. No one had ever attempted this. Crying would probably have scared them away, but tears of joy were welling. People love my room. People love my presence. My girlfriends love me.

This may sound like a bit of an overreaction. Of course I know that my friends love me, but the reaffirmation was helpful. And all this happened because the four of us (with the exception of Katherine, whose passport expired) decided to stay in the same city for our spring break. That night was easily one of my best moments this year, and I didn't even have to go anywhere. I stayed right here in Charleston, surrounded by my loves. It was that easy.

8 eggs, pink ink, and a whole lot of trust.

"We celebrate our sense of each other. We have a lot to give one another." Sufjan Stevens

Friends are such a blessing. Especially good ones. And most especially when they eat the food I make. "How am I worthy of your time?" I often wonder. This morning my little roommate, the grad that could, and I made a meal for our breakfast partner in crime, Mer. When we get together, we can eat. Croque Monsieurs, honey glazed pears, French toast casserole... we've got a good thing going. (And a hearty shout out to all my other lovely roommates who put up with the smell of those baking ham and cheese sandwiches; you all are troopers. I know you weren't able to enjoy the taste of them, but I can vouch for the rest of us and say they were excellent. Except you, my milk-spurning Kathleen.)

But why is it that we take so much time that could be ours solely to spend with others? This may sound like a no-brainer, but I definitely could have slept in this morning and left the casserole up to Laura. Mer could have decided to stay home, brew her own batch of coffee, and sit on her beige, well-worn leather couch with a Jane Austen novel. (What are you reading now, girl?) 9:30a.m. is early, Mer didn't have class today, mine wasn't until 11a.m., and Laura is a grad (that could). We all could have easily skipped out and done our own thing, but instead jolted awake a little unwillingly and a little bitter (Why is it that no matter how peaceful our alarm tune is, and however often we change it, it is still so annoying?), stretched our backs, and bemoaned the thought of head-to-pillow separation. Then with motivation that comes from God knows where, we throw back the covers, slide one foot out and onto the floor, toes hitting hardwood the first reality we've met in the last 6 hours (probably more like 9 for Laura.) We do it because our love for each other is complimentary, our lives flowing over into each other's so much so that we make what is theirs ours. And that, my dear friends, is a great gift from God. God's love for each of us, that transgresses through us all. It is a network greater than any other, and one that by His power and grace will never be broken.

Just like His love for us is never-ending, I work every day for my love of others to be as unconditional. And they for me. Sometimes I can be pretty self-centered, Laura falls asleep when I'm still talking to her, and Mer, without fail, always shows up late. But because God's love is so graceful, so is mine towards them. In fact, I laugh at sweet Laura as she dozes off for the night, and know to make a mental note that when Mer says 10, she means 10:25. When I let the Lord's love reign over my relationships, I find I cannot help but revel in the presence of those very special people in my life. Life is so good. And you know what the best part of it is? With Him, it's eternal.

Laura and Mer, our friendship is boundless. Thank you for seeing me vulnerable in pieces, yet still loving me wholly.